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KEYS TO A
SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Unless the Lord builds the house,
they labor in vain who build it.
Psalm 127:1



Murray and Pat
married in 1989 after meeting
through an organization called
Christian Widows and Widowers.
He had been a widower for two years after
a 40 year marriage,
and she had been a widow
for seven years after a 28 year marriage.
The following article is the result of an
accumulation of
78 years of marital experiences.

If these thoughts
can help some young person
to build a foundation for a strong marriage,
or help to heal a broken marriage,
our prayers
will have been answered.

Key 1

One of the foundations of a lasting marriage is to

BE COMMITTED

to each other and to making the marriage work.
A generation or two ago, marriages were stable
and divorce was not as widespread as it is today.
We believe this was due to the commitment of people
entering into the marriage relationship.
Divorce should not be an option.
There are situations, of course, where there is
abuse and infidelity which cannot, and should not
be tolerated.
Not in every case, but in most cases, if discernment
is used in Key 2, this type of abuse will not be found.



Key 2

One of the most important keys to a
successful marriage is to

CHOOSE THE RIGHT MATE.

2 Corinthians 6:14-16

Young people get caught up in the romance and the
physical attraction, and they don't consider whether
the object of their attraction
will help or hinder them in their
spiritual development.
Of course, the foundation for choice
should have been laid years before.
Just because a person falls in "love",
doesn't necessarily mean that person you "love"
would make a good spouse.
Hormones need to be governed by reason.
God made us creatures of choice.
In fact, our lives are a product of the choices we make.

Galatians 6:7-8



Key 3

An admonition for young people.

REMAIN SEXUALLY PURE UNTIL MARRIAGE.

Your marriage will have a greater chance of success
if you do. Young people today who are taking a stand
against pre-marital sex are to be applauded.

Ephesians 5:3-5

Aim for Success
non-profit organization that promotes
sexual abstinence until marriage

True Love Waits

Lifeway Biblical solutions

Courtship and Marriage

Laura and Paul
the story of a courtship ending in marriage



Key 4

Early in the marriage a couple needs to

ACCEPT GOD'S PLAN FOR THE FAMILY

Let Christ be the head of the family,
and let the husband be the spiritual leader in the family.
A loving husband will not be overbearing.

Ephesians 5:22-23



Key 5

DON'T WITHHOLD LOVE AND AFFECTION

or use it as a weapon to get your own way.
God has given specific instructions about the
physical relationship between husband and wife.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5



Key 6

LISTEN TO ONE ANOTHER.

Keep the lines of communication open.
Few things can be more detrimental to a marriage
than the refusal of one of the partners
to discuss problems.
Work it out together if you can, but don't hesitate
to get outside help in the form of Christian counseling
if it is required.



Key 7

DON'T NEGLECT YOUR SPOUSE

while you are raising your children.
Long after the children have left home,
you will need each other.
A loving relationship must be built
while the children are growing up.



Key 8

Money can cause problems so

COME TO AN AGREEMENT ABOUT
THE HANDLING OF FINANCES.

Sometimes this is a joint effort,
but sometimes one partner is
better equipped to handle the family finances.
The other partner needs to defer
to the one with this gift.



Key 9

TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH

so that you can enjoy
your relationship with one another
for many years.

1 Corinthians 3:16



Key 10

GIVE EACH OTHER ROOM
FOR INDIVIDUAL GROWTH

and for personal likes and dislikes.
One may be a sports fan, the other may not.
Not all things have to be shared.



Key 11

BE WILLING TO SAY, "I'M SORRY"

when you are wrong.
Truly mean it, and try to make improvements.



Key 12

BE WILLING TO FORGIVE

when you have been wronged by your spouse.

Matthew 6:14-15



Key 13

Make every effort to

ARRANGE FOR THE WIFE AND MOTHER
TO BE IN THE HOME

during the years when the children are growing up.
A working mother with young children is actually
holding down two full time jobs.
She has little time nor energy left for her husband
at the end of the day.

Titus 2:4-5



Key 14

As parents

SUPPORT EACH OTHER IN THE
DISCIPLINING OF THE CHILDREN.

Failure to do so will cause the marriage
and the children to suffer.



Key 15

Hold your spouse in high esteem.

MAKE POSITIVE REMARKS
ABOUT YOUR MATE
TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY.



If you and your spouse have celebrated
50 years of marriage
or if you know of someone who has
such a long-lasting marriage,
let us know, so that we can give honor
on a special page of

GOLDEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES


A TRIBUTE TO OUR PARENTS




Thanks to Bible Gateway for the scriptures.
We have referenced them in the NIV version.
You may want to explore other translations also.






The Marriage Tool Box

Family Life.com

Page Comments

Most Recent Comments   ( See more comments on this page )

2009-06-21 2009-06-21 I am marriade for five years now and trusting God to make the next forty five, but i do believe i can bmke it without God, in this crisis only God can do it, without him we connot make it, so please pray for me and my family and may God continue to bless you all. Viola luke

2009-05-23 Thank you so much for this. God bless you all!

2009-04-05 I will be married to my high school sweetheart for 15 years on 4/19/09.We acepted Christ in our life 3yrs after we was married and we have 5kids .Puttin the Lord 1St in the marriage ,communication and making time for each others is a must in having a sucessful marriage life.Often times, couples put kids 1st,forgetting their relationship came before all of that. They end up losing out on each other and growing apart.I would like to encourage married couples to go on a date once a week when u can. It keeps your love for each other burning. Have a good time and laugh it is so good for the soul. The devil will be mad, but the two of you will be glad with each other. Remember to always pray for one another,communicate, and set aside some time for each other. Also, be on one accord when it come to the kids. God has put us over our kids. It is both parents duty to raise the kids. To all the husband help your wife with the household chores sometimes. I promise you she will make you the best the wife, try not to nag at your husband so much. I promise you he will make you the best husband. Last point, allow each other space. The women need some her time and the husband need him some time. Ladies like to spend time shopping and the mens like to go fishing and hunting. I thank the lord for you all giving me a chance to tell my story.Dayton if you read this i want you to know that I thank you for loving christ,yourself, and loving me. I love you with all my heart. We are 34 yrs old. We start dating at 16. Married at 19 yr old. Reborn at 21 years old and still save . Thanks be to our lord and saviour Christ Jesus to God be the glory. Jennifer Hunt (daytonhunt_AT_bellsouth_DOT_com)

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